


hold you in my arms

by stylinshaw



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Spooning, Tiny bit of Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 14:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3413855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylinshaw/pseuds/stylinshaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Dan's VYou) Q: Do you prefer to be the big spoon, or the little spoon?</p><p>A: Big spoon. (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TagpCWO25g">x</a>)</p><p>(or, 6 times where dan was the big spoon, and one time they weren't really spooning at all.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold you in my arms

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is separated into tiny drabbles- one for each year, from 2009-2015. most of them are based off real events as well, i'll link the relevant videos/ etc. at the end. :)
> 
> also yes the vyou this fic is based off MESSED ME UP BAD. it's like 2 seconds but it's a wonderful two seconds. /sighs happily
> 
> title - starlight by muse
> 
> disclaimer - this is fictional and i don't own d&p
> 
> hope you enjoy <3

**2009**

They’re both lying on Phil’s bed, staring at the ceiling. Dan’s still convinced that this is some kind of long-lasting, heavenly dream because he’s on _AmazingPhil’s_ bed, holy shit.

“Dan,” Phil says, and Dan turns to face his boyfriend. _Boyfriend._

“Yeah?”

“This week has been incredible,” Phil's expression contains so much affection that Dan can practically feel the love seeping through his veins.

Although, _love_ isn’t a word Dan’s used yet. He’s a hundred percent sure he’s head over heels in love with Phil- he just hasn’t gotten around to telling him that yet.

Besides, it’s only been- what, _three_ months since they started dating? And this is only the second time they’ve been with each other, in person.

“Uh,” Phil says, probably because Dan’s been silent for a pretty long time now. “Did I say something wrong?”

“I’m in love with you,” Dan blurts out. Hold on. That isn’t what he’d wanted to say.

Phil’s eyes widen the tiniest bit. Dan flushes.

“You know what?” Dan laughs awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of his- no, this isn’t his, it’s _Phil’s_ shirt. “Just forget I said anything. It’s fine.”

“No, hold on,” Phil says, staring at Dan with such intensity that the younger blushes. “Are you kidding?”

“No, Phil, why would I joke about this?” Dan scoffs lightly, plucking at the duvet, which has suddenly become _very_ interesting.

“Because, well,” Phil’s voice is unsure, and Dan _knows_ the older man is going to politely reject him, because _who_ in their right minds would love-

“I love you too.”

Dan looks up at Phil, refusing to believe his ears. But Phil’s smiling bashfully, and hopefully, and _Christ,_ Phil Lester loves him.

And, really, that’s a good enough reason for Dan to tackle his boyfriend down. Phil lets out a squeal of surprise as Dan wraps his arms around him.

“Fuck, Phil, I,” Dan’s at a loss for words, honestly. He maneuvers them into a position somewhat resembling spooning, him being the big spoon despite the fact that Phil’s slightly bigger than him.

They lie there quietly for some time. Minutes. Hours. Maybe days. Dan wouldn’t actually mind staying in this position forever.

“You’re my favorite,” Phil says suddenly, breaking the silence. Dan huffs out a laugh into Phil’s neck, tightening his grip on the taller man.

“You’re mine,” he whispers, and he’s not sure if Phil’s heard him or not, but he _knows_ , that Phil knows, either way.

*

**2010**

“Oh, bear,” Phil says the moment he sees Dan sniffling at his doorstep. “Come in, come in.”

Dan smiles gratefully at his boyfriend. Then, he sneezes violently.

“I’m poorly,” he announces, though he figures that’s pretty obvious by now. Phil giggles, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth. Dan nearly melts.

“Thanks for telling me, Dan,” Phil says, rolling his eyes. “I couldn’t tell that you were sick. At all.”  


“Your mum,” is all Dan replies with, though it doesn’t really make sense. He laughs at Phil’s confused expression for a moment, but his laughter soon dissolves into a fit of coughs.

“ _Dan,”_ Phil says reproachfully, leading him into the bedroom. “Sit down.”

“Okay, _mom,”_ Dan says, but he sits down anyway. “Thank you, though.”

“Anything for you,” Phil responds sweetly, wrapping an arm around Dan. “D’you want to be the little spoon?”

“No,” Dan says immediately. “I like spooning you. It’s nice.”

“But you’re sick,” Phil pouts. “I want to make you feel better.”

“I’d feel better if I was _spooning you_ ,” Dan emphasizes, and pushes Phil down gently.

“Alright, alright,” Phil curls up, letting Dan throw his legs over his. “Love you.”

Dan smiles. “I love you more,” he murmurs. He promptly sneezes again.

*

**2011**

“Phil.”

“Yeah?”

“We’ve been sat here watching Buffy for seven hours.”

“What?” Phil checks his phone for the time, and- “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“We could probably fit in two more episodes, though,” Phil trails off, looking hopeful.

“Jesus, Phil,” Dan says, rolling his eyes. “Your Buffy addiction is getting out of hand.”

“I know,” Phil replies seriously. “But I love it so much, Dan. And don’t lie, I know you do, too.”

“ _Fine,”_ Dan says, sighing loudly. He hopes he can pass on the message of exasperation through his sighing, though Phil just looks happy. “But only because I love you.”

“I know. Me too,” Phil says as he gets up and changes the CD. Dan pulls his lover as close as he can when he returns to the couch, hugging him firmly.

“Let’s spoon, Phil,” Dan drags out his words in the whiniest voice possible.

“But you won’t be able to watch it, then.”

“I don’t really mind not watching it if I get to spoon you, frankly speaking,” Dan says honestly, and takes great pleasure in watching the back of Phil’s neck turn bright pink. He shifts to a lying position, and Phil follows.

“You’re a dork, you know?” Phil says, as the opening credits start to roll. Dan grins, though Phil can’t see.

“Yeah, I know,” he says in response, and they watch Buffy. (Or Phil does, anyway.)

It’s fun.

*

**2012**

Dan knows something’s wrong the moment Phil rushes into the lounge, face filled with fear.

“What’s wrong, Lion?” he slips back into the old nickname unintentionally, worried.

“Fuck, Dan,” Phil swears, and that’s when Dan knows something’s _really_ wrong because Phil doesn’t swear unless it’s serious.

“ _Please_ tell me what’s wrong,” Dan says again. Phil sits down slowly next to Dan.

“Have you checked Twitter?” he asks. “Or Tumblr, Instagram, anything?”

“No, the last time I checked anything was like, two hours ago,” Dan answers, confused. “But what’s that got to do with anything?”

“It’s the video, Dan,” Phil says, and Dan’s blood runs cold. _The video_ had been released by accident the previous year, because of a YouTube glitch. It was tough controlling the hundred thousand people that saw it, but now-

Now, Dan’s got nearly a million subscribers. If all of _them_ have seen it, there’s _no_ getting out of this one.

“It’s circulating again,” Dan says flatly. Phil doesn’t deny it.

“Fucking _hell,_ ” he curses, and Phil flinches the tiniest bit. “Why are these people so fucking _invasive_ sometimes?”

Phil doesn’t say anything, but Dan sees that he’s trying not to cry.

“Phil,” Dan says softly, and the former swallows and looks up at Dan with red-rimmed eyes. A wave of guilt crashes over Dan- though this isn’t really his fault.

“Phil, please don’t cry,” Dan comforts. “Oh, Phil, love.”

“I-I don’t know what to do. Dan,” Phil says helplessly, and Dan can’t do anything but hug him tightly.

“Whatever happens, we’re in it together,” he reassures, squeezing Phil tight. “I love you, Phil.”

“I love you too,” Phil says in answer, sinking into Dan’s embrace.

And they end up on the couch that night, Dan curled around Phil, legs intertwined.

(Dan only hopes they can last through whatever shitstorm’s going on, but that’s another worry for another day.)

*

**2013**

They’re lying in Phil’s bed, after their _first ever_ radio show has gone live.

“Dan,” Phil’s voice is a bit awed as he turns to face the brunette. “We have our _own radio show._ With the _BBC.”_

“Yeah, Phil, I know,” Dan smiles. “I’m so fucking proud of us, you know.”

“So am I,” Phil agrees quietly. “I’m so glad I got to know you.”

Dan flushes. “I would be nothing without you, Phil,” he admits. He knows it’s true- if not for Phil, Dan would probably be a depressed law student with no life.

“Me, too,” Phil says earnestly. “I never tell you how much you’ve changed me, but I’ve come so far, all because of _you.”_

Dan doesn’t know how to respond to that, because he’s always had this insecurity, hiding inside him, that he needs Phil more than Phil needs him, but this- this is what Dan needs to hear.

“Too deep for me,” he says mockingly instead, and Phil laughs. Dan pulls the shorter man against his chest quickly, winding his arms around Phil’s waist.

“I love you, you know,” he mumbles. The words come naturally to him now, after nearly five years of repeating them over and over.

“I love you too, Bear” Phil replies, through a yawn. They don’t talk after that.

They don’t need to.

*

**2014**

Dan’s sitting on his bed, scrolling through his Tumblr tag, when Phil walks in, face contorted in pain.

“Dan,” Phil groans, dragging out his name.

“What’s wrong?” Dan asks, closing his laptop and placing it to the side. Phil sits down and takes a deep breath.

“I don’t _know,_ Dan,” Phil sounds frustrated, and Dan wants to _fix that._ “I’ve been having a horrible stomachache since, like, forever.”

“Oh, no,” Dan says worriedly, and pulls Phil closer to him. “Was it something you ate?”

“It might’ve been that milkshake I had this morning,” Phil muses, relaxing into Dan. “I just feel really weird.”

“Poor you,” Dan says, and it sounds kind of sarcastic, but he means it. He pushes Phil down into a lying position, and hugs him tightly. “If this happens again, we’re going to the doctor’s, alright?”

“Yeah,” Phil agrees drowsily. “Sure.”

“Okay,” Dan pulls the duvet over the both of them. “Go to sleep now. Hopefully you’ll feel better when you wake up.”

There’s no response, save for Phil’s quiet breathing, so Dan closes his eyes.

He feels at peace.

*

**+2015**

“Why are we _always_ spooning?” Phil asks. They’re currently in a- yes- spooning position, and Dan doesn’t have any problem with it. He’s fine with this arrangement- he loves spooning Phil.

“I don’t know,” he says in answer. “Do you not like it?”

“No, yeah, I love it,” Phil replies. “But, like, I can’t see your face.”

“Aw, does little Philip want to see someone’s _face_ before they go to bed?” Dan teases, seeing how red Phil’s ears have become. “Wait- that came out a lot creepier than I intended it to.”

Phil giggles melodically, and for a moment, Dan wonders when he started thinking of _laughter_ as _melodic._

“But, yeah, let’s change up our cuddling,” Dan says, mock-enthusiastically. “Fun times in the Dan and Phil household!”

Phil chuckles, twisting so he’s facing Dan.

“Why are you always the big spoon?” he asks, shifting to get more comfortable.

“What can I say, I love it, you love it. It’s win-win, honestly,” Dan responds, looping his arms around Phil’s neck. Phil, in turn, tries to move one of his arms to Dan’s back, but-

“ _Ow._ Jesus, Phil, what’re you trying to do?”

And Phil’s managed to elbow Dan in the face. Brilliant.

“Oh- sorry!” Phil starts to laugh, and Dan can’t help but to laugh along. He brings his face close to Phil’s, kissing him softly.

“Can we go back to spooning next time?” he questions.

“Christ, Dan. Fine,” Phil grumbles.

(But Dan knows he really isn’t complaining.)

**Author's Note:**

> here are the relevant events to each year!
> 
> 2010 - [I ate Mario.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezrAYatgyck) | 2011 - ['8 hour buffy marathons with Phil'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g06ikaJMgKU) | 2013 - [1st radio show!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HNFxxmJs6w) | 2014 - [The Not-Milk Challenge!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOCVa5aTSOY) (technically a 2015 vid but yolo)
> 
> Comments/Kudos are love!! loads of love <3


End file.
